Sweeney Todd Song Parodies
by Joker with the Green Scarf
Summary: Stupid parodies. They suck.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN SWEENEY TODD!**

_**No Place Like London**_

Anthony: _I have sailed the world beheld its wonders. From the Dardanelles to the mountains of Peru, but there's no place like London!_

Sweeney: I have some questions for you. What the bloody hell is a Dardanelle, can you name all the mountains in Peru, and I know there's no place like London. It's a terrible, gothic place. I wish it was just emo. Not gothic.

Anthony: I have no clue what a Dardanelle is, no I cannot name them all, and the last one wasn't a question. *mumbles, "Stupid emo beeyatch"*

Sweeney: What was that you mumbled?

Anthony: Nothing… but we better get back to singing or the viewers might get bored and not review!

Sweeney: LE GASPETH!!! We better sing then! Um… where was I? Oh yeah. _No there's no place like LONDON._

Anthony: Mr Todd, you ok? You seem to be getting angry…

Sweeney: _You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn…._

Anthony: NO! NOT LEARNING! I don't want to go to an evil school full of learning! That's why I dropped out!!!

Sweeney: _There's a hole in the world like a great, black pit and the vermin of the world inhabit it and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit and it goes by the name of London!_

Anthony: No! I told you learning was scary! You sound like a scary poet!

Sweeney: _At the top of the hole set a privileged view making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo. Turning beauty into filth and greed! I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders…._

Anthony: Seriously, you're sounding like Edgar Allen Poe! OH MY GOD HE'S SO SCARY!!!! ;___; Well, at least we have one thing in common, we have both sailed the world!

Sweeney: _For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru, but there's NO PLACE LIKE LONDON!!!_

Anthony: First you give Peru a bad name, and now you steal my line. YOU EVIL EMO POET PLAGERISM PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweeney: Now I will sing about my woes and a barber and my wife. I mean HIS WIFE!

Anthony: Ok! I like sleepy bye stories!! ^-^

Sweeney: _There was a barber and his wife and she was beautiful!_

Anthony: Oh I gosh darn hope so! No one would marry an ugly lady!

Sweeney: SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH MY SOLO!!! _A foolish barber and his wife. She was his reason and his life! And she was beautiful! And she was virtuous and he was… naïve._

Anthony: I have a feeling you're going to make this story all depressing and emo…

Sweeney: _There was another man who saw that she was beautiful!_

Anthony: Ooh!! She must've been really beautiful!! Ahhh… *drools*

Sweeney: STOP DROOLING OVER MY WIFE!!! I mean…. The barber's wife!!!

Anthony: *stops drooling*

Sweeney: _A pious vulture of the law. Who with a gesture of his claw, removed the barber from his plate!_

Anthony: Oh dear! He removed the barber from home plate! He cheated in baseball!!! OH NO!!!

Sweeney: _Then there was nothing but to wait and she would fall. So soft, so young, so lost, and oh so beautiful!!!_

Anthony: Ok, You've said that she was beautiful like 5 times. I get the picture now! Hm… I wonder what she would look like in a bikini…

Sweeney: She's already done the strip club dance for me. *smirks*

Anthony: OH MY GOD SHE WAS A STRIPPER!! THAT IS SO SEXY!!! So um… where do you live??

Sweeney: Um… I live on Fleet Street…

Anthony: Fleet Street, eh? *licks lips*

Sweeney: ._." No! Not Fleet Street! I meant…. Hippie Street! Yes, I am a Hippie! Uh…. PEACE MAN!!!! *runs*

Anthony: Ok, Hippie! See you later!!! Wow Hippies are so nice! :3

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it :3 I know someone else made Sweeney Todd song parodies, but I'm not a plagiarism person. Review please!**


	2. Leaving!

Attention to everyone, I am posting this chapter to every single one of my stories because this is a super important message. Joker with the Green Scarf is going out of business. That's right. I'm deleting this account.

FAQ:

**Q: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU DELETING YOUR ACCOUNT?**

_A: Because someone hacked the email that I use for EVERYTHING including this account, so I made a new account in fear that the hacker will delete this account. The name is:_

_Engelhaft Albtraum_

_It means "Angelic Nightmare" in German :)_

**Q: Are you going to repost your stories or make new ones and totally leave out your awesome stories?  
**

_A: Yes, I'm going to repost my stories on my new account. They'll all be posted at once so no waiting :P and I'm definitely making new stories!_

**Q: When are you deleting your account?**

_A: I'm going to be deleting it September 20th 2010 on Monday afternoon/night EST so everyone can have a chance to see this chapter/message_

**Q: What colour are your panties?**

_A: Actually, I'm wearing Guitar Hero boxers right now underneath my pants. Not panties._

**Q: What kind of stories do you have coming up?**

_A: I just wrote the first chapter to my newest story. It doesn't fall under a category though, so I'm going to post it on my fictionpress account which has the same name as my new fanfiction account. Engelhaft Albtraum. It's a story about how fucked up I've become due to one person... my true love Angel... and I'm not with him because he doesn't care about me and it's driving me to insanity. Anyways, you'll find out the rest in the story. The name of the story is Hearts Burst Into Fire and it will be posted on September 15th, 2010 on Wednesday._

**Q: Will you be continuing any of the stories you discontinued ?**

_A: Yes, and I can read that =_=;;_

_But, yes, I am going to continue some of the stories I discontinued. It will be a long time before they get out because I have school ontop of chores, a relationship with a guy who I love but I don't love him as much as Angel and I want to be with Angel but I can't, that thing I have to call a dad being home all the time and I'm not allowed to use the computer when he's home, my wifi in the house is fucking up really bad (the router is hooked to my laptop so that's how I'm posting this), and I have a lot of moments where I'm too depressed to write and I'm crying and having panic attacks and cutting myself and drinking my blood. Everyday. Told ya my life was fucked up._

**Q: Why won't your dad let you be on the internet?**

_A: Don't call him my dad or you'll die. His name is Gary and if you call him my dad, I will hunt you down and hang you by your intenstines, spoon out your eyes, shove them up your vagina, and stab the living shit outta you. But anyways, back to the question. Gary won't let me on the computer because when I was 11, I was talking to people I didn't know over the internet. I wasn't giving them any personal information or anything. I didn't even tell them my real name (which is still going to be a mystery to everyone) and Gary grounded me from the internet until I move out of the house =/ I can't even do fucking school work..._

**Q: Are all these questions annoying you?**

_A: Yes. And the panties question just scared me a bit._


End file.
